範文一(B2+)
例題
第二部分:表達意見
Part II: Expressing Opinions
請依據下列指示寫一篇約80字的短文,建議作答時間15分鐘。
Read the following prompt and write a short text using approximately 80 words. You should spend about 15 minutes on this task.
You are Lynn Pan. Your university has recently opened a new food court on campus. It includes a vegetarian restaurant, two tea shops, and a well-known fast food restaurant. You decided to express your opinion on this new addition to campus.
In your email, you should
- explain whether you think this is a good change;
- make at least one suggestion about how the food service can be improved on your campus.
範文賞析與建議
以下範文獲得B2+,範文末附上具體賞析(請見標號1-2);另,也提供調整建議,以利全篇文章更為流暢(請見標號3)。
Dear Administrator,
My name is Lynn Pan, and I'm a student at KMU. I'm excited about the new food court and thrilled that it includes two tea shops since I love having beverages during class. ➌However, there' s still some suggestions I would like to propose. First of all, I hope there can be more options. Since I' m not a vegetarian, there will be only one choice if I want to dine in this food court. Also, ➊fast food is of course delicious, but not healthy. Therefore, it would be better if there could be more than one restaurant for us to choose from. Lastly, if possible, I would like to have a cup of coffee or a comfortable and relaxing area to hang out between classes; therefore, it would be awesome if the food court can also include a café.
➋Thank you for your time and attention.
Sincerely,
Lynn Pan
賞析:
本作品符合題目兩點要求,組織分明、表達通順並有適當證據支持論點。語法及搭配詞雖偶有錯誤,但無礙表達。
- 充分敘述觀點,並提供合理佐證。
➊ [F]ast food is of course delicious, but not healthy. Therefore, it would be better if there could be more than one restaurant for us to choose from. - 書信格式正確,並以適當結語收尾。
➋ Thank you for your time and attention.
建議:
然而,為讓本作品表達更為流暢、語意更為連貫,文字可再稍作調整,以下舉例說明:
- 主詞與搭配動詞須一致。
➌ However, there are still some suggestions I would like to propose.